You

I look at you, wanting you, needing you so much. I look at our history and feel like we belong together but what I’m feeling is so wrong.

You destroyed that innocent girl, if you just listened, this wouldn’t feel so messed up and this feeling, this feeling of wanting you would feel right, would feel acceptable but I can’t, can I?, I’m not allowed to feel this way, of wanting you because it is not right, it’s not but I want you. I yearn for you.

You let yourself in when I asked you to leave. I said no more but you kept going. I said I didn’t want this but you kept on pursuing it. I gave in and you enter and destroyed me. I was brought up to believe I was special, a gift of God, one of a kind and most of all that iI was light. But now I’m standing in the darkness, gift been ripped apart, tainted.

And why? Because of you, yes you. You destroyed the little piece in me who had faith in your kind. I stand in the darkness with you, touching me without my request, I scream, but there is no sound but I’m screaming, scream for damn help. I see my light dimming every time you touch me but I still yearn for you, this is so wrong, so wrong.

I look at the girl that once existed, the girl who laughed with pure joy and no care in the world. The smile that belongs to me and I thought would be mine forever but you came and took that girl, took my laughter and replaced it with tears that would never stop flowing. A smile that belong to someone I forgot existed.

I should hate you; everyone tells me to but all I want is for you to love me, just see me, not a piece of meat, a prize to win or a high five from the lads but look at me. Because of you, I don’t think I can be loved by anyone else. You said no one would love me for me; there is no substance in me to be appreciated.

Maybe you did see me and I didn’t see you.