Mind + Body

I feel a bit out of touch, you know? like an out-of-body experience, you know? Like I'm here but not here? It's a bit confusing?

You see, My state of mind runs ahead of me as my body tries to catch up. My mind is wondering what to do next as my body is forever chasing it. I keep thinking about how I will get to the next step while the rest is following, lagging. My mind is ahead as my body runs out of breath.

The mind pauses for a minute, takes a deep breath, my body catches up with it feeling like they are on the same page, little does it know.

Mind and body as one walking together, being together, being one. A dream comes up, excited, thinking how this dream can become a reality, works on the dream, body and mind together. The mind moves on to the next dream while the body is still completing the last dream. It catches up but the mind has moved on to the next as the body tries to catch up. Mind enjoys creating and making but forgets the need of the body. I stand watching my mind and body trying to become one but all I do is look. Just look. Not helping, not trying to help but just looking. Looking at what is in front of me. I try to talk but I can't. Fascinated by what I am seeing. The function of the body and mind using its different functions but not in unison.

They both stop… look at me… staring… I become frozen, I don't even know if I'm in a body but I'm there, they're staring back at them. They look at me seeking something but we are all seeking something. Seeking for purpose, seeking to be loved, seeking to be noticed, seeking to be heard, seeking to have a place at the table seeking to desire to seek for something in this world but all we do is run and run and run. Running is what the mind is doing trying to find the next thing, the body is running to be one with the mind, I am running just to find out what's going to happen next. But what are we running to? What are we running to? The table makes us believe we exist and we think we have a seat just for the seat to be pulled underneath us. Running to be loved for the love to throw back into our face? Running to be seen and heard for them to take our eyes and mute us. Running to be desired by people who don’t even look in our direction. We are running to be disappointed.

So mind why do you create or try to create? Body, why run to be one with something that doesn't believe it needs you to thrive? And why am I running? Why? That's the question, right? Why am I running? To be seen? To be heard? To be loved? To exist?